It was several years ago now that I had a miscarriage over the Christmas season. My husband and I found out before Christmas that I was pregnant, but right away there were signs that something wasn’t right. We were definitely worried. After Christmas we went in to check if the baby was alright and discovered that I had had a miscarriage. Of course we were both sad and disillusioned.
It seemed almost a mercy that we had only one week to get used to the idea before learning that we wouldn’t be having the baby after all. I think it would have been more difficult if we had known longer. Still, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.
I have several friends who have experienced either a miscarriage or stillbirth. As a parent, you wonder what your child would have looked like; what their personality would have been; what their interests would be. You think about the milestones of life that you are missing out on. You wonder what it would be like if they were a part of your daily life.
And you wonder why it happened. Why does God allow babies to die inside their mothers?
Needless to say, I had a hard time accepting the situation. That is, until one day…
I was taking a shower and in the moment I blinked my eyes, I had a vision. I know it sounds weird, but I saw this image as clear as day and it only lasted a second. In this vision I was standing across from Jesus and I handed my baby to Him. I felt joy, relief, and peace because I had been worried about what had happened to my baby. Now I knew that Jesus was taking care of my child. That was okay with me because I knew that He would do a better job than I ever could, and my child wouldn’t have to experience a lot of the hurts of this world. I look forward to the day we’ll be reunited, when Jesus will introduce me to my child.
If you’re a woman who has experienced miscarriage or stillbirth, I hope this brings a bit of hope to your heart. Maybe you wonder whether you’ll ever see your child again. I believe that God has a place in His heart and home for every child, yours included.